nemesisfall: yumatsukumozexal: Describe your life with one or more cards.
andrew-ledger: do you ever just have that one person you have a tiny subtle little crush on and it’s just never going to go away yyep
peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
sherbot: theboywhofangirled: TOTALLY JUST CONVINCED MY BRITISH FRIEND THE AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEM USES SHARPS AND FLATS IN GRADING LIKE A-, Ab, A, A#, AND A+ AND SHE’S TOTALLY BUYING IT YOU LITTLE SHIT
There is a game of love, This is a game of love, And it was you, The one that...– Daft Punk ~ The Game of Love
psychophancy: You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, “That’s a girl’s name!” Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin’ Terry.
Dreams why do you torment me so?
School: We don't allow bullying if you bully we will fuck you up
Student: I got bullied.
School: The fuck do you want us to do about it?
The Moral of the Story: Get a vasectomy but keep... →
Nobody shoots anybody in the face unless you’re a hit man or a video gamer.– Jack Thompson (via david)
plot twist: tumblr actually waits to get full information on something before reacting to it, and then acts in a civilized and mature manner
onefitmodel: realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
Everytime something happens to tumblr everyone makes a big deal about it and nothing ever happens. Shush and calm down and make a big deal when something bad actually happens.
Oh look I lost another follower, two more and I’m back at 25.
gentlemanbones: zeldasboyfriend: me flirting You can’t just whip out your cock at somebody man